THE STITCH
This cult's members believe that everything is better remade. Natural forces do not guide anything to it's best form. All must be cut asunder and stitched back into new combinations. Some carry this edict out physically, as crude brutes or refined serial killers, cutting up human, demihuman, and animal, and attempting to give life to new creations from the pieces.
Other members of this cult are more subtle. Seemingly innocuous, they give friends advice and happen to have the right bit of gossip to break up couples - but hey, they also know just the right person to encourage your affections toward next. They often take government positions, hiding their agenda, sewing discord and mistrust until treaties are broken and revolutions and wars erupt. They will then work to form new alliances, forge new pacts.
They see no contradiction in breaking up alliances and combinations they themselves previously formed, after a time. The seams must show. When the scars fade and the stitches come out, whether physical or metaphorical, it is time once again to cut and reassemble.
Members can be identified when searched by the results of their initiation - two initiates cut off a finger and sew on that of the other.
Members can be identified when searched by the results of their initiation - two initiates cut off a finger and sew on that of the other.
SORRY SCRAPPER YOU GET BOTH
STUPID TABLE OF CITY ENCOUNTERS
1. A wandering baby hippo with huge cute eyelashes that the city folks cower from in fear and try to pretend isn't there.
2. Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, Nobleman and Scholar. He writes down everything you say, but seems to miss the point. He can make the most interesting events seem boring, and wants to follow you everywhere, narrating what is happening.
3. Street closed. Workers from the "Oh Shit Construction Co" are working. The whole block looks mysteriously like really even blue lines and shaky pencil sketches.
4. A really sexy person who isn't interested in talking to you, but asks a leading question every time you try to walk away.
5. A Deity doing paperwork, listening to worshipers, and sweeping up the temple because their Priests formed a union and got the day off.
6. Meeting of the Priests' Local Union 103. They are violently arguing about dental care or something.
7. A big ol alligator that all the children and some adults are playing with, like it's a huge puppy. Scratching it's chin and everything.
8. Yourself, coming the other way. The other you is super awkward for some reason.
9. A Thief's Guild has set up a little booth with streamers, stuffed animals, and pamphlets, hoping to recruit.
10. The Big Bad you killed last month, undead (again), being super nice and all apologies.
11. A bear on a motorcycle being chased by slimes. "Get on, there's no time to explain."
12. A bunch of lawyers who want to take you out to lunch.
SO YOU DECIDED TO BECOME A WIZARD
1. GREAT! Waddaya want me to do about it? Good luck with that. Here's a hat.
2. A creature who lives in the dangerous forest/volcano lava/local dungeon/clouds has cast "Find Wizard", and you're the closest schmuck with no familiar calling yourself a Wizard. You feel uncontrollably compelled to seek them out.
3. A real Wizard hears you wrong and polymorphs you into a lizard. Oops! That was off a one-use scroll. They feel real bad about it though, and would be happy to take you on as a lizardy apprentice.
4. Geez, if you'd realized there was so much paperwork, you might have said something else - Fighter, Assassin, I mean hell, even Elf! Oh well, now you're signed up with the Inter-Regional Magic Authority. Hope you like writing quarterly reports.
5. "The Wizard! You have come! Just as the prophecy said! Let us show you to the dragon..."
6. You begin as a 0-level human that can cast Nahal's Reckless Dweomer a number of times a day equal to your INT bonus. If you choose this path, you skip 1st level, and are 0-level until you have the XP for 2nd.
7. You are actually just a person who is followed around by 2 0-level theater people in black catsuits and masks who do their best to carry out (with props) how they imagine the effects of whatever spell you say you're casting are. They pretend they aren't there, like no one could see them. You pretend you're a Wizard. Maybe it'll work out?
8. That's cool, but somewhere in the world your nemesis has been unleashed. It can track you by the energy from your spells, so better move on pretty quick after casting.
9. Bonus! A local witch just threw down her flying broom and said, "I quit! Take this, you'll need it."
10. Wizard Bus pulls up with a bunch of senior citizens in cargo shorts and Hawaiian shirts. You signed up just in time for the Annual Beach Retreat!
11. A bear on a motorcycle being chased by slimes pulls up. "You the Wizard? Get on, there's no time to explain."
12. Everybody's like "Oh god I hope it's a phase. But you follow your dreams, honey." Mom buys you a whole second set of equipment (double starting cash, but must spend it).
1. A wandering baby hippo with huge cute eyelashes that the city folks cower from in fear and try to pretend isn't there.
2. Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, Nobleman and Scholar. He writes down everything you say, but seems to miss the point. He can make the most interesting events seem boring, and wants to follow you everywhere, narrating what is happening.
3. Street closed. Workers from the "Oh Shit Construction Co" are working. The whole block looks mysteriously like really even blue lines and shaky pencil sketches.
4. A really sexy person who isn't interested in talking to you, but asks a leading question every time you try to walk away.
5. A Deity doing paperwork, listening to worshipers, and sweeping up the temple because their Priests formed a union and got the day off.
6. Meeting of the Priests' Local Union 103. They are violently arguing about dental care or something.
7. A big ol alligator that all the children and some adults are playing with, like it's a huge puppy. Scratching it's chin and everything.
8. Yourself, coming the other way. The other you is super awkward for some reason.
9. A Thief's Guild has set up a little booth with streamers, stuffed animals, and pamphlets, hoping to recruit.
10. The Big Bad you killed last month, undead (again), being super nice and all apologies.
11. A bear on a motorcycle being chased by slimes. "Get on, there's no time to explain."
12. A bunch of lawyers who want to take you out to lunch.
SO YOU DECIDED TO BECOME A WIZARD
1. GREAT! Waddaya want me to do about it? Good luck with that. Here's a hat.
2. A creature who lives in the dangerous forest/volcano lava/local dungeon/clouds has cast "Find Wizard", and you're the closest schmuck with no familiar calling yourself a Wizard. You feel uncontrollably compelled to seek them out.
3. A real Wizard hears you wrong and polymorphs you into a lizard. Oops! That was off a one-use scroll. They feel real bad about it though, and would be happy to take you on as a lizardy apprentice.
4. Geez, if you'd realized there was so much paperwork, you might have said something else - Fighter, Assassin, I mean hell, even Elf! Oh well, now you're signed up with the Inter-Regional Magic Authority. Hope you like writing quarterly reports.
5. "The Wizard! You have come! Just as the prophecy said! Let us show you to the dragon..."
6. You begin as a 0-level human that can cast Nahal's Reckless Dweomer a number of times a day equal to your INT bonus. If you choose this path, you skip 1st level, and are 0-level until you have the XP for 2nd.
7. You are actually just a person who is followed around by 2 0-level theater people in black catsuits and masks who do their best to carry out (with props) how they imagine the effects of whatever spell you say you're casting are. They pretend they aren't there, like no one could see them. You pretend you're a Wizard. Maybe it'll work out?
8. That's cool, but somewhere in the world your nemesis has been unleashed. It can track you by the energy from your spells, so better move on pretty quick after casting.
9. Bonus! A local witch just threw down her flying broom and said, "I quit! Take this, you'll need it."
10. Wizard Bus pulls up with a bunch of senior citizens in cargo shorts and Hawaiian shirts. You signed up just in time for the Annual Beach Retreat!
11. A bear on a motorcycle being chased by slimes pulls up. "You the Wizard? Get on, there's no time to explain."
12. Everybody's like "Oh god I hope it's a phase. But you follow your dreams, honey." Mom buys you a whole second set of equipment (double starting cash, but must spend it).
"2 0-level theater people in black catsuits and masks"
ReplyDeleteI can see them being completely serious and enthusiastic about it. Making sound effects and throwing sparkly confetti with the precision of a trained mime.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteTotally! I wrote that to be one of the "bad" results, but I think that would be really fun to play.
ReplyDelete"I, Krytox the Mysterious, cast Magic Missile upon the foul beast!" (theater guy holds out sparkler, runs to monster and makes sound effect noises, tries to punch it)