Thursday, March 30, 2017

Weird Toilet Customs, a table

Republicans and IBS and sometimes podcasts make me think about going to the bathroom more often than I'd like.
Where there is a communal toilet, there tend to be: shared immunities, ease digesting local cuisine, an increase in shared parasites (some of which get rid of allergies! It's a thing. There's a whole deal where severe allergy sufferers go to Africa and poop in communal tribal toilets for a week and yeah they're standing in stranger's shit while squat-pooping but then they can go back to their lives allergy-free thanks to intestinal parasites or something.) Stuff that comes from sharing gut bugs. Travelers, thus many PCs, wouldn't gain the benefits until an extended adjustment period.

What Weird Toilet Rituals Does This Place Have?
1 to 3 Everyone must shit in the communal toilet area barefoot. Especially those with mild to medium illnesses. If you do not, it will be assumed you have some terrible, fatal disease.
4 Pissing must be especially concealed, and never referenced. Roll on chart again, that result applies to pooping.
5 Each family has a communal toilet only family members use. Travellers must relieve themselves outside the town until adopted by a family.
6 There is a communal toilet swamp/crevasse, and all the town's deceased are left there to rot as well.
7 Some magical bullshit and the locals don't need to excrete waste and will be highly offended / "scientifically" curious at those who do
8 Outhouse kinda structures are all over, and the waste feeds something(s). People disappear sometimes, but it's fine. Really. 
9 They just do it anywhere like it's no big deal
10 There are separate restrooms for a huge number of socially distinct groups but where you're supposed to go is nearly impossible to figure out if you're not from here and many of the distinctions seem arbitrary. It's very dangerous to be caught going in the wrong place.
11 to 12 All waste is reused for fertilizer and it's a crime and sin if you fail to submit all waste to the proper authority
13-15 Roll D12 Twice, first roll is what the locals do but travellers must do second roll
16-17 Roll D12 result especially applies to travellers from other places
18-19 Roll Twice
20 Roll a D12 on this chart, Travellers must do this but are then ushered out of town

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Diary of a Meat-Hauler, Kalashul City, Extract 2

Editor's Note: "the Easterners", as referred to here, is a garrison of the Grand Army of the Empire of the Great Republic of Salimpahr, a garrison that had been moved into the author's town recently. These would have been of the same general ethnic derivation and of the same cultural root as the writer. While the writer (and possibly many soldiers in the garrison) is from outer lands that retain the old culture of independent cities despite their nominal allegiance to the Empire, most of the soldiers and all of the officers would have been raised in lands whose culture had been deeply shaped by the social stratifications and behavioral edicts of the Empire after it's formation some 50 years before.

When the Easterners first requisitioned all the cattle, then all the meat, I have to admit I was a little excited. Anything for a change in my routine work at the meat shop. The burble in my stomach now calls me a fool. They've left nothing but scraps for us, the meat shop has closed, and mother's hands bleed and eyes sag from late hours repairing the soldiers' uniforms for a pittance.

I guess we have it better than Callus' family, though. Owning a meat shop for so long had got them a nice sized house, enough to house both his and his wife's parents, and a whole separate room for his children. What was the word for it? -Requisitioned to house the soldiers. Apparently something the town leadership agreed to just before I was born gives the Empire people the right to do that. Just throw people out of their homes. Callus and I had our differences, but he did not deserve to be cast out into the street. If only we have more than the one room. But no.

To distract myself from the hunger and boredom I go out to the burning hills and talk to - well, what ever those voices are. Something down in the crevasses with the fire. Some of them just make spitting noises and belch smoke, but others, the glowing ones, some of those have voices. Rrick says they are demons from the melted land (ed. - Malak, a land roughly 1500 miles to the Northeast) but I think they're something else. I don't think they're *in* the fire. I think they're in the dark, and just...don't mind the fire. Anyway, they're smart, so smart I hardly understand them. They don't like people.

Mom sewing all the time makes me think too much about the Shin tailor I was trying to get work with before all this. I wonder where ze is now. Where they all are. A few days before the Army came to town, the Shin were just gone, and any of us non-Shin that had married them or whatnot. Halla says her Ma got a note and that the Shin left of their own choice, that they somehow knew the Empire was coming to town in force on their way somewhere else and that things would get bad soon. I don't know. Why wouldn't they tell more people? I guess they didn't know who to trust. I don't.

People are saying an Irongen attacked the soldiers still in tents outside the town, just one single Irongen, that it was being wild and not calm like they usually are. No one will tell me more than that, though.

The Fleshless carry on as usual. They hardly seem to acknowledge the soldiers, and vice versa. But who can know what a Fleshless feels? They have no faces. An inscrutable skull.